a regret

if i could turn back the time, i don't want to join that stuff. i am really2 disappointed with someone who responsible for making me in difficulty situation. what should i do? times cannot turning back idayu. i put in bahasa "nasi sudah menjadi bubur" . 

now, i don't have money in my saving (PTPTN). my parents, i don't want to ask money from them since my family are not from a rich group of living. it is very difficult to live when you don't have money. it's really affected my study because in my mind i always think how i could get some money to eat. now, i don't know what to eat, my stomach started to sing. milo and biscuits seems to be gone someday. 

ya allah. please give me some strength to move on. 

 i want to further my study Bachelor of science (Human Development & Management) UPM , but it needs a lot of money to invest. if i'm going to continue my loan PTPTN then the money+interest that i should pay must be very high. i am lost right now, what if i cannot pay my loan after i'm graduated? after i'm done the calculation, the total that i need to pay back is extremely high. when i'm thinking about it again and again, i tend to thinking about to stop my plan to further my study. to let go my dreams.

.sadness.